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cpu

以前单位有一老头, 每次看见我就傻笑, 我以为他是傻子。唉, 后来才知道, 他是一直以为我是个傻子。尼玛, 多么深刻的政治领悟呵!作为一个傻子, 我还能为祖国做什么呢?移民!绝不能给祖国添乱!我的爱国主义表现又是什么呢?移民!坚决给资本主义国家添乱!

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看笑话,学英语!精选国外精彩的一句话笑话!  

2009-11-26 03:32:19|  分类: 幽默笑话 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

 

8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 

9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

 

10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

 

11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

 

13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

 

23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

 

32、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

 

36、Laugh at your problems, as everybody else does.

 

39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

 

44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

 

49、Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

 

50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

 

51、Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

 

55、Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

 

61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too..

 

73、Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

 

78、You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

80、I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

 

83、We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

 

86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

 

91、You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

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